Hide in Style

It’s July. Sometimes you have to to hide from the sun in July. If you are like our family you hate sunscreen (blah blah sun damage blah blah “even the spray on?!” BLAH! We hate it!) but we still recognize the need for some respite from the rays as it were.  Now I loooove our backyard umbrella. It’s one of those awesome stripey ones from Pottery Barn with the hammock that matches. But after five years in the California sun, it’s showing its wear.

These umbrellas from Santa Barbara Designs are looking like my dream replacements right now.

Of course they are probably a gazillion bucks as each one is made to order but if we weren’t having a recession I’m sure I’d find a way to justify the cost. Whether intentional or not, the umbrellas seem vintage swimsuit-inspired. I can just see the bikinis and awesome halter one-pieces in some of these. And come on, tell me you wouldn’t just swoon over something that featured this lilypad effect on the bottoms!

Modern American Summer Swing

I grew up in the South. Porch swings were ubiquitous. From the one on our back deck that gave you a splinter in your left butt cheek if you slid off the wrong way to the one at the summer cabin whose squeaky chains swung my mom into afternoon naps to the fancy one on our neighbors’ porch that had cup-holders (oh yeah!) cut into the wooden arms. And if you wanted to sit in a porch swing you had to get there first and fast and stake your claim because ass-splinters or not, it was the dream seat. And big cousins could always throw out little cousins.

But porch swings always seemed to belong to cabiny, country, knotty-pine-type yards populated with statues of little children, rusted bicycles converted to planters, or plywood cutouts of ladies in bloomers. They were too humble to go with the crisp roof-lines and geometric hardscapes of modern houses and gardens. Key word: were. These modern swings from Woodia La Piccolo are gorgeous. When I saw them I had to go ahead and say out loud to the computer “Okay, that is badass.” Because yeah. Just look.

Are the comfortable? Hell if I know. Are they beautiful? Are you smoking crack? Look at them! I can’t imagine forking out for one and then hanging out in my woods a la Woodia’s beauty shots but placed center-stage in the courtyard of our friends’ ‘57 Eichler? Now you’re talking.

You can’t get that from here

You know how frustrating it is that you can just never know what happened with Marilyn Monroe? I mean, the information is out there. Maybe. Maybe someone alive still knows what happened (coughTedKennedycough). Maybe. But you will never know. There is information and you just cannot have it! It’s like that. Sorta.

Wesco makes all these really cool kitchen (and a few home) accessories but they keep them over there in their Germany-local world! Away from me. They are out there! Someone has them. But I just cannot! This. Just. Kills. Me.

The tins are easily my favorite, but that scale? With the clock on one side and the lbs/kgs on the other? Come on! Oh and that green breadbox up there is super AstroBase-Go. If you’re working that atomic thing into your decor you should be coming out of your skin with desire right now.

I suppose I should be glad that I can only admire these things from afar. Even the cookie boxes are something like $55 American. It’s probably better for everyone that the line isn’t easily accessible to me. I guess if I tried hard enough, Wesco isn’t toootaally out of reach for me. I COULD try to get them from a UK distributor. Look at me all refusing to be defeated. I feel empowered!

Now then. Dear Senator Kennedy…

Sign of the Time

It SAYS “reuse” and it was MADE from reused materials. See so it’s like that? At least it was made from all leftover stuff we had at the house. That qualifies as recycled and reused I think. To the point! The point is that it used to make me insane in the membrane that whenever I went home to visit my parents in Memphis, there was no recycling. Their trash service did not recycle. Perfectly useful materials got thrown willy-nilly in with everything else. Now, I know I’m spoiled in that our city both recycles AND composts but come on! No recycling? I don’t truck with that.

So this year, my parents moved here and as part of their “You’re in California now. Speak Californian” (Reference to the highly under appreciated 80s film Big Business starring Bette Midler and Lily Thompson.) gift package, I made them this little sign. I thought it would look cute hung just above their trash containers. And it does.

Make your own:

Step 1

Find any ol’ scrap of wood that you think is appropriately sized for hanging on a wall. Mine was maybe 3 inches wide by 20 inches long. Rummage around for (or buy) some suitably-sized sticky vinyl letters and stick them on the wood in the form of words. (I wanted little stars to separate the words so I cut some out of paper and spray-mounted them on there.) Also you can see I penciled in some guide lines as, well, guides.

Step 2

Hunt in the garage until you find some leftover spray paint. Any old color will do as long as you like it. Take your scrap outside and lay it some place where overspray won’t matter. Remember to spray in long, even strokes and run completely off the ends with each pass. (Coat 1, dry, coat 2, dry. Or you know, whatever.)

Step 3

When the paint is dry, use the tip of an x-acto to help you peel up the letters. Voila! Stenciling for good, not evil. Extra credit: Hunt further in garage for can of leftover varnish and give the sign a light coat or two.

Finito

That’s it. Now attach some kind of hangers on the back or sides or top or whatever you like. I used the little grippers you hammer directly into the wood for picture frames.

Have a Cup of Cheer

So for my final pre-Christmas post, I’ve decided to share my Christmas Spirit. This cocktail is named after one of my top three favorite Christmas movies, The Bishop’s Wife. It’s a slight variation on the classic cocktail, The Bishop, but with the addition of a little Cottage-style recycling.

After making Autumn Sidecars, I had quite a bit of spiced simple syrup left over. It has such a fall/winter flavor that I wanted to use it again but in a way that didn’t too closely copy the flavors of the A.S. Initially, I thought of using it in a wintry sangria (which still might be a good idea) but rejected the idea in favor of a cocktail I could make in ones or twos vs. in a batch for a crowd. The result is festive and cheerful and I love it almost as much a I love the dear movie for which I named it. Merry Christmas.

The Bishop’s Wife

3/4 to 1 oz. of Spiced Simple Syrup (recipe)

1/4″ lemon slice

1 oz. white rum

red wine (I prefer a zin or a cab, but really any will do)

In the bottom of a shaker, muddle the lemon slice with the Spiced Simple Syrup.

Add the rum and fill the shaker with ice. Shake madly.

Place a few ice cubes in a goblet or double-old fashioned glass. Strain the contents of shaker into the glass. Top with red wine. Stir and garnish with lemon.

That’ll warm your heart and soul.